What comes to mind when you hear the words, “Tara, Batangas!”? A beach trip, of course; perhaps some island hopping with snorkeling, or scuba diving (balisong shopping?). My point is: anything that involves the sea. And that’s exactly what we were expecting when we booked a Batangas huling hirit before the kids go back to school.
So, what is Seascape Resort Batangas exactly? It’s a resort with a seascape (woke moment alert). It sits atop some mountain, overlooking a part of the southern Batangas shoreline that I have now come to know (via Google) as Batangas Bay.
This post’s title might lead you to think that I’m on to another major bitching, but I actually liked the place. It’s unfortunate that it’s nowhere within 10 minutes (at least) of a beach-able beach, but I should have known better. So, if you want to treat this post as a review of sorts, be my guest. And, because I’m still only on my way to travel blogger superstardom, I get nothing from writing these things—so expect nothing but pure honesty.
How to get there
How to go to Seascape Resort Batangas? (Uy, keyword stuffing.)
Simple, Waze the fuck it up. (Uy, inulit lang yung hirit sa last post.) But seriously, I’m not into making travel guides because I do not want to be blamed for your being lost in the middle of nowhere. But, here’s what I know anyway.
My reference points are (and always will be): the Batangas pier that we all use to go to Puerto Galera, and Mabini, Batangas—home to the Anilao diving spots.
Proceed as if you were to go to the aforementioned pier—Star Tollway until the end, then on the roundabout take the second exit (Waze, ikaw ba yan?). Now you’re already on the road that leads to the port. On this exact same road, you’ll hit a very obvious flyover. That aformentioned (ibang word naman, huy!) flyover is exactly where you DO NOT want to be. Make sure to stay on the right; on the intersection below the flyover, go right.
You are now on the road that leads to Mabini—the one with the scuba diver statue—and the smaller port that you’d use if you were to go to Masasa. However, you are NOT to reach those places. Perhaps halfway through that Mabini highway road, you’ll see a sign that says Seascape Resort. You’ll know you’re on the right path if this road you turned right on is one-lane narrow and steep.
The place is huge. In fact, if you try to walk from the first main gate slash parking area to the second gate, you’ll find yourself catching your breath—thanks in part to the hill-like layout of the resort. Yes, there are endless stairs and ramps, because like I said, “it sits atop some mountain.”
Swimming pool, tree house, and Mickey Mouse obsession
The main swimming pool goes down to 7 feet on the slide landing area. I don’t think any of us tried that slide as it looks like it’s going to sandpaper the shit out of our asses. There’s also a small hut in the middle of the main pool that becomes the lone source of shade during the day.
The children’s pool—still connected to the main pool—is shaped as such: big circle (main kiddie pool) and two smaller circles (ears; Jacuzzi-like). Yes, Mickey Mouse. To add to the Mickey Mouse obsession, a giant Mickey is impressed on the floor of the main pool, while also being somewhat shaped like a Mickey. I’m not sure if there are other Mickey homages within the resort, but these really stick out like an out-of-nowhere sore thumb.
The tree house, on the other hand, is really more of like a tree gazebo. It’s the designated videoke area and can accommodate 20 adults easily. It also serves as the roof to a giant bird cage, which is quite a bummer, to be honest, because you know—captivity #woke #ibonmangmaylayanglumipad #dontforgetthehashtag.
There’s a basketball hoop with just about enough playing space for a three-on-three on the second parking area—which we didn’t get to use, a billiard table near the first parking area and the huts—which I didn’t get to use, and a restaurant—which we didn’t get to eat at.
The place is nice. I’m not head-over-heels crazy over it, but I like the overall vibe I got from the experience. The rooms are a little bit nicer than nice—probably around 90% (if hotel rooms were a hundred). I’m pretty sure we got the two biggest rooms available—to accommodate an almost-twenty group—so ours were filled with bunk beds. Still, it didn’t feel like military barracks.
Another winner—the view; especially from our room. It was overlooking the pool, which was also overlooking the ocean from afar. Sure, this side of the sea was all cargo ships and ports, but it still makes for a scenic view. Ika nga ng bayaw ko, “Puro mga bankers.” (oil bunker).
What else? Because we arrived the latest, we weren’t able to experience the wrath of the masungit front desk lady. But according to my wife’s cousins’ accounts, it was enough to make dinuguan (magpakulo ng dugo). There’s also the usual lack of water pressure and consistent hot water, but I’ll let that pass this time. Signal (4G) was unexpectedly strong.
It took almost exactly 100 kilometers from The Alabang to the resort itself, so at an aggressive 8-10 kilometers/liter, that’s Php 1,200-1,400 balikan in today’s rates. As for toll: 91 Filinvest to Calamba + 25 Sto. Tomas + 95 Star Tollway dulo = Php 211 one way.
For the rooms, here are the exact rates: Php 5,425 for the good-for-6 room and Php 7,235 for the good-for-12 room (yes, a room for 12). All were booked via Booking.com (affiliate link).
I guess it would be hard to compare the expenses we amassed on this trip if you’re a small group, as it almost seems like we were a small company on an outing. And it doesn’t help that we super Pinoy-styled the food budget—adobo, baon everything, ihaw, etc. All in all, I would put the to-the-centavo equally divided individual gastos at a very affordable ?1,200 per person.
Seascape Resort Batangas is located in the middle of nowhere, in a province known for so many travel spots. It’s a bit odd, to be honest, and if you’re from the city, going there on its own merits might be wasteful (think of it as a Pansol outing that is double the travel time).
I believe it’s best for Batangueños looking for a quick overnight getaway with swimming and a scenic view. Or, a place to hold a company outing or party, or the like.
Special mention to Lando & Lorie’s Eatery, Lipa City—a must-try food stop if you ever get lost in Lipa.